Confession

I am becoming materialist, the type I used to criticize a lot; and this is happening injudiciously, hastily and unrestrained.

I can see the changes in and out. The signs were everywhere surrounding me, leaving almost no room to the other side of my soul’s coin.

The hit was hot today. I caught myself packing for the trip; plugging in all sorts of electronics gadgets I have. Sadly to say there were not enough plugs for all these toys: two digital cameras, one camcorder, two mobile phones, and two laptops.

I can remember myself having preferred Red Crescent Camp to Hotel Vancouver, being free, being human, ready and packed to farewell this world. Now I observe myself not only enjoying but also sharing the sentiment with someone else after staying in a deluxe suite.

These are the signs, obviously trying the hammer the point that the guy I used to know is no more alive. I am starting to enjoy luxury, at the climax of my age, when human is delegated prophecy.

I am not saying this is good, this is bad. This is me.. who I am becoming now. Still hope that, same as before, this could be translated as a transition period in my life cycle.

Behind all, the horizon is calling me; the fundamental question is still there: who you want to be? If you made your choice, then taking the steps requires courage, self-regard, integrity and assertiveness.