anyone got questions?

i do!

i do have many. that no one probably is in a position to even answer any.

i am done with school, and work is more relaxed now, and i came to understand that challenge is my cup of tea. i am not made to sit and look, i am for useless walks, and meaningless talks, if i don't have a better choice. please don't judge that i am like to hurt myself with achieving nothing, but at least i have achieved something.... nothing.

i made my mind and embarked here... this does not mean that i do not frequently miss the simplicity i used to have in my past life.... the daily life during my immigration.. this is a very nice piece of message from a true friend of mine... giving me the chance not to forget... joy... unconditional love... peace... forgiveness.. pillars of happiness.. what else does any one need?

the melting effect of aging...
the aging effect of melting...

...very different

My Father

My father was with no doubt not only the source of inspiration for me, but also for many of his friends, relatives and people who knew him.

He was the eldest son of a villager with 10 other siblings, the family could barely make the ends meet. At the age of 20, with a new born baby he emigrated to the capital in search for a better life. His goal was to support the family back in the village.

Through a friend, he was hired as the bookkeeper in a small firm first. He was sending almost half of his monthly income in cash or goods back to the village where many were anticipating his support.

Later he was promoted as the manager in the same firm. But life was getting even harder. His wife died at the age of 39 from pneumonia, and left him two boys and one 40-day old girl.

My father had no other choice, he had to fight. He had to fight with misery, poverty, depression and loneliness. Later in the same year he lost his father and directly became the guardian of his five unmarried brothers and sisters.

Coming from village where the main business was agriculture, he was referred by one of his clients to a farming company. His role was to supervise the wheat and barley cultivation in different location.

He increased the yield to double in the first year and gained trust and acceptance among all the people working with him.

Later he was dispatched to Caspian Sea region in north of Iran to find solution to rice low yield.

His successful work put him in a position to rent land from the owners and do farming for himself.

My father was successful in what he did and could move himself from the low-income segment of the society to the middle class. This achievement; although significant, is not the area that I am greatly influenced by.

My father was a loving soul more than anything else. He knew how to communicate with people and how to make friends. Anywhere in the country we travelled, he had some acquaintance we could stop over.

This social network neither was created overnight nor was one-sided. Among the relatives and friends, he was the one to address your personal and financial concerns and be hopeful to get help.

He helped his brothers and sisters to move to Tehran and supported them to continue their education. His youngest brother could get his Ph.D. from University of Tehran and post-doc from Berkley later.

His coverage of help was not limited to relatives only. He managed to collect funds from those who trusted him and provided interest-free loans for marriage, education and medical emergencies.

Coming from a deprived part of the country, he also was leading a group of people to pool sources and build elementary school and clinic in their village.

My father thought us to be effective, to help others, and to be socially accountable for what we do. He didn’t left us a big fortune when he died, but a value system nourishing and supporting us for the rest of our lives.

Fifteenth

We had a meeting with our business partner and he had to write something on the board. Having the pen in his hand, he turned to me and said: “you know; I never came to the board in school. I had hard time getting high school diploma”. And he laughed. He is frank and open to me, we are the same age. Actually we were born on the same month. I am elder 10 days though. This is not the first time he is opening such personal discussion about his school times. I can appreciate that his willingness to discuss his school history comes from his confidence. He; most probably unintentionally, tries to communicate his determination to become successful.

“Oh, really” I responded maintaining the eye contact. “I have been to six different schools so far, and I am here today, making things easier for your business,” I added with a smile.

He was happy. He did the best thing he could/should, and he wanted someone to endorse it for him, which I happily did. Hey! I am you if you were good at school. You could be an employee just like me today facilitating things for others, should you tired harder at school. You are good; you are just good.

Honestly, I am happy for he is happy; and I am happy for I probably couldn’t be happy if I were him. He is right in the position that he is supposed to be, and I am fine with my place. The scenario is perfect, each of us has a role to play.

ART © XXXX

Confession

I am becoming materialist, the type I used to criticize a lot; and this is happening injudiciously, hastily and unrestrained.

I can see the changes in and out. The signs were everywhere surrounding me, leaving almost no room to the other side of my soul’s coin.

The hit was hot today. I caught myself packing for the trip; plugging in all sorts of electronics gadgets I have. Sadly to say there were not enough plugs for all these toys: two digital cameras, one camcorder, two mobile phones, and two laptops.

I can remember myself having preferred Red Crescent Camp to Hotel Vancouver, being free, being human, ready and packed to farewell this world. Now I observe myself not only enjoying but also sharing the sentiment with someone else after staying in a deluxe suite.

These are the signs, obviously trying the hammer the point that the guy I used to know is no more alive. I am starting to enjoy luxury, at the climax of my age, when human is delegated prophecy.

I am not saying this is good, this is bad. This is me.. who I am becoming now. Still hope that, same as before, this could be translated as a transition period in my life cycle.

Behind all, the horizon is calling me; the fundamental question is still there: who you want to be? If you made your choice, then taking the steps requires courage, self-regard, integrity and assertiveness.